On Growing Up…
So, I am soon going to be a full-time working adult. While growing up, I didn’t give much thought about the weight that comes with the word – full-time working adult. I have had dreams. Plenty of it. But never to imagine myself assuming a role full of responsibilities.
In fact it is at this very same place where I would dream as I sit and watch the sunset. I used to come here a lot 6 years back. Together with a senior and our music teacher, we would drive up here after our band practices. The three of us would sit at that very edge of the reservoir and watch the sunset silently. Each in their own world.
It’s rather sad that I now no longer keep close contact with my two sunset-watcher companions and that I now watch sunsets alone. But the point being, circumstances change. Things change. People change. We each have a different set of beliefs now, and have our very own different lives.
I am no longer the girl who dreamt of being a successful musician, a passionate clarinet player. Ha! Those times were sweet though.
Amazing how 6 years could pass so quickly. And even more amazing how so many changes can take place within that time-span.
Now, I find myself being a daughter of two proud parents embarking on yet, another journey. The pressure is ever so great with my parents laying down their expectations they have of me once I am financially independent. And with Dad’s health being not so very pink, I find myself worrying too much about the future.
Then there’s my girlfriends. We’ve been through so much together. And as our conversation progresses from choosing subject combinations in school to planning our career ahead, I find myself missing the carefree days we once had. Bittersweet memories indeed. Something I would forever cherish, Insyallah.
However with recent events that took place, I am so very scared how it would adversely affect the dynamics of our friendship. I know things can never remain the same. Changes are inevitable. But the very thought made me cringe. Gosh I love them all.
I reckon that all these worries were part and parcel of growing up. Of entering a different realm.
Then I reminded myself that my worries are completely baseless. Verily, Allah is All-Knowing, All-Wise. Why should I even worry if in Him I have had place my trust?
I remebered of a Du’a made by Prophet Sulaiman AS:
“My lord, arouse me to be grateful for Thy favour which Thou has bestowed upon me and my parents, and that I should do good that shall be pleasing to Thee, and to include me in (the number of) Thy righteous slaves.”
A very meaningful Du’a I must say.
Only He can invoke the feeling of gratefulness unto Him in his servants. If you’re unable to be grateful, then it’s because He didn’t make your heart to be able to do so.
And that should be my greatest worry. Not the worry about growing up.
Indeed, syukran for the wonderful years of life that You have bestowed upon me. May I be able to be more grateful and appreciate the finer details of life.
So people, remember Him. And He will remember you.
Life is Awesome!